Redefining Success in Motherhood: Character Over Competence

In a world that often equates success with productivity and crossed-off to-do lists, it's time to pause and reconsider what truly matters, especially when it comes to motherhood. The journey of raising children is filled with countless tasks, endless responsibilities, and the constant juggling of schedules. It's no wonder that more than 70% of moms feel overwhelmed and conquered. But what if we've been measuring success all wrong?

The truth is, conquering motherhood isn't about perfection or productivity. It's about being the person God called you to be. This profound shift in perspective invites us to focus on character rather than competence.

Character vs. Competence: Understanding the Difference

Competence refers to the set of knowledge, skills, and abilities that enable job performance. It's about what we can do. Character, on the other hand, is about who we are. It's expressed in what we do without thinking, revealing our settled dispositions to act in certain ways.

While our culture often values competence over character, preferring fame and fortune to inner virtues, Scripture emphasizes the importance of character. In fact, God's ultimate goal is to transform us into the character of Christ.

Why Character Matters More

Our actions flow from who we are. While competence is important, it doesn't transform lives – character does. For mothers, this means that the way you love your children unconditionally, extend grace and mercy when you're at your wit's end, and offer forgiveness is far more important than cooking dinner, doing laundry, or getting them to practice on time.

The Power of Experience in Shaping Belief

Consider this: we can't believe in what we've never experienced. Just as we needed to experience sending and receiving emails to understand the concept, children form their beliefs about love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness through what they feel and experience.

If your children don't feel love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness from you, they may struggle to believe in God's love and grace. This is why your character as a mother is so crucial. You are shaping your children's understanding of these fundamental spiritual concepts through your daily interactions.

Biblical Foundation: Created for Good Works

Ephesians 2:10 reminds us, "We are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." These good works are not about staying busy but about character-driven acts of love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness. As mothers, you are called to be the light in a dark world, showing your children and others the nature of God's love.

Developing a Christlike Character

1. Walk in Love: Love your children the way God loves you – unconditionally, patiently, and faithfully. This doesn't mean excusing bad behavior, but it does mean ensuring your children feel your love is not based on their performance.

2. Walk in the Light: While you can't control the world, you can control how you act, react, and lead your home. Strive to respond to situations with calmness, grace, and mercy, like Queen Nia in the Wingfeather Saga who maintained her dignity despite difficult circumstances.

3. Walk in Wisdom: Make time to meet with God each day, even in small ways. Wisdom begins with prioritizing God in your daily routine. As you experience His forgiveness, you'll be better equipped to extend forgiveness to others, including your children.

Practical Steps to Conquer Motherhood

1. Redefine Success: It's about being who God called you to be, not what you get done. Success as a mother is about stepping into your calling, not just completing tasks.

2. Focus on Character: Your children will remember the kind of mother you were, not how many tasks you accomplished. They'll remember how you made them feel, not how well you managed a to-do list.

3. Build Character Through Competence: Grow in spiritual values the way others grow in job skills. Practice love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness until they become automatic responses.

A Powerful Example: The Story of John Newton

Consider the story of John Newton, the man who wrote the famous hymn "Amazing Grace." John grew up with a mother who had severe physical handicaps due to tuberculosis. Despite her limitations, she faithfully taught her son the truth of the gospel through Scripture and her approach to life.

Although John initially abandoned his faith and became a slave ship captain, his mother's influence remained. During a life-threatening storm at sea, John cried out to God for grace, mercy, and forgiveness. This moment of transformation led to his conversion and eventually inspired the writing of "Amazing Grace."

John's ability to turn to God in that desperate moment, believing in His love, grace, and forgiveness, was undoubtedly influenced by the character his mother had displayed throughout his childhood. She had given him a reason to believe in these divine attributes.

The Challenge for Mothers

Be the reason your children believe in love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness. Your character, more than your competence, will shape their understanding of God's nature and their ability to trust in His goodness.

Remember, you have been created by God and called into motherhood. Your primary task is to reflect His character, especially to your children. It's not about being perfect or accomplishing everything on your to-do list. It's about consistently demonstrating love, extending grace, showing mercy, and offering forgiveness.

As you focus on developing these character traits, you'll find that you're not just managing motherhood – you're conquering it. You're fulfilling the good works God prepared in advance for you to do, and in the process, you're shaping the next generation's understanding of God's love.

So, dear mothers, take heart. Your most significant impact doesn't come from your ability to juggle tasks or maintain a spotless home. It comes from who you are – a reflection of God's character to your children. In this way, you're not just raising children; you're nurturing souls who will carry the imprint of your love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness into the world.